Christianity is Friendship with God

What is life all about if I am in solitary confinement without anything familiar to me which has been connected to my faith in Jesus or to my loving family relationships?

I. Christianity is Friendship with God
As we approach a period of assessment of what God and we have been doing in 2012, I thought it appropriate to ponder afresh what our faith in Christ, who has given us His ministry of reconciliation, is really about. Reminders are for forgetful humans. Who may say that they have perfect memories in a church and world damaged by sin since Genesis 3? This is evidenced by the fact that nations which have the most Christian material resources (e.g. books, IT, funds, Christian professionals such as pastors, missionaries, theologians and organizational structures) do not seem to have the highest moral characters in private of public life. Yet Malaysians, Christian or not, are well known for being imitators of the most popular trends be they in fashion, music, movies, lifestyle or theology. I am no expert in all these fields but a long term student of the Bible in the school of ordinary believers and disciples of Christ. From this angle, I invite you to ponder with me as we seek to know the root cause(s) of our stubborn inability and slowness in knowing His will and doing it, come what may. I believe the root cause may lie in our being ignorant or having taken for granted God’s friendship with His children. We have added other factors into our relationship with Him that makes Christianity rather difficult to receive or no different from other faiths. The human call to reconciliation and oneness is good for peaceful public life but not helpful in bringing true and deeper forgiveness and reconciliation with God, with oneself and with others.

Where may I start on the basic need of mankind?
A. In my undergraduate days, while trying to figure out the ultimate meaning of human life as well as the Christian life, I once asked myself, “What is life all about if I am in solitary confinement without anything familiar to me which has been connected to my faith in Jesus or to my loving family relationships? No mother or father to engae with me, no friends to visit, no church service, bible study fellowship, bible, hymn book, notebook, prayer book, Christian literature, radio or cassettes related with my faith till then, nothing to remind me of the existence of this loving and holy God of the Bible. What is it that will sustain me through the dark hours and days? What will be my joy and purpose for living…so that I will want to live on and not give up?”

By God’s grace, I came to the conclusion that it will be God’s friendship with me. Nothing and nobody can take away His presence from me, even if I am demented and depressed, weak and toothless, useless in this world. His companionship through thick and thin and His uncompromising faithfulness to me, His child will be the only factor that will give me the joy of life, though in prison. Though forgotten by family, friends, the church or world, I will never be forgotten by Him, my Father God. This conclusion was affirmed by a Christian African psychiatrist who spoke at one of our Christian medical fellowship gathering one evening in 1976. His sharing is one of the temporal walls on which I lean on in times of deep loneliness as a result of my faith in Jehovah God. He shared something to this effect: 

“I am in charge of a 800-bed hospital for the mentally sick in Africa. If each patient has a friend whom he trusts enough to be himself, to be able to speak the truth about himself at any time and still be accepted, more than 80% of the beds will be empty. If only every person on earth has a friend. We know that this friend is Jesus and He will never leave us or forsake us. That is why we have to point others in the world to Him, not ourselves, though God often uses us as His link to His friendship.”

[Note: Some mental illnesses or disorders are caused by organic changes in the chemistry of the brain, not by mere thought/emotional/spiritual factors. In such a case, the basic medical treatment is to be received without viewing it as a lack of faith. Researched scientific truth, as distinct from revealed truth, is from the Creator also.]

Since then, imperfect and fumbling though I am, I have become more aware that I must not place a stumbling block to anyone in their endeavor to search for God according to who He is, not what we or the world think of Him. So what is this friendship with God about?

Some may shy away and say,

“We are not Abraham, Moses or Elijah. How then do we dare to talk about such an intimate relationship with Jesus?”

Let us recall what Jesus said to His disciples of old in John’s journals. Does He, the Son of Man and Son of God, need or want my friendship? Let us view what He said the day before He died for us. The words of a man near death are to be taken seriously as there is no more time to pretend or hide. Note the intimate and repeated use of the pronouns I and you. John 14:1-4; 8-11; 5-7 reads “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”

He would miss them. Hence, He prepared His close circle of 12-1 disciples for His impending departure as their Rabbi and Lord. He comforted them by assuring them of His coming again to take them with Him to His Father’s house. He thought that they would have grasped the central message of His life…to become the atonement for our sins, the barrier to our reconciliation with God. Only He can and will bring us home to the Father. But Thomas innocently asked “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know Him and have seen Him.”

Wasn’t that clear enough for them to trust Him after He departed? But Philip had to as “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” This time round, Jesus felt hurt by Philip’s careless ignorance.

“Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen Me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in Me, who is doing His work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves!”

In our walk with God, we often think of the need for God to understand us, love us, care for us and bless us. But have we ever thought of God longing for our understanding? God has feelings and that is why He
has created us in His image with the gift of feelings as well.

A few moments later, Jesus continued, as if to elaborate His desire that He also needed to be understood by the disciples. They had seen and treated Him as their Rabbi but He was also their Friend. In His farewell conversation with them, He longed for His disciples’ friendship as He was about to be crucified for their sins in their place. Hence, He explained further in John 15:12-17…“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in My Name the Father will give you. This is My command: Love each other.

Jesus tried to explain to them that He loved them enough to lay down His life for them because they are His friends. Such costly sacrifice would be the sign of true friendship where both sides in the relationship could bare their hearts to one another. Then, as if to further help them understand why He came to live among them, Jesus prayed near and loud enough for John to eavesdrop and record His prayer for us in John 17:1-4: “Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that Your Son may glorify you. For You granted Him authority over all people that He might give eternal life to all those You have given Him. Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent…”

Therefore, we may safely conclude that Christianity = Friendship with God, nothing more but nothing less either.

Examples of God’s Call to Friendship
A. In the Old Testament, God showed us how He wants us to discuss things with Him like Abraham and Moses did.

Abraham was as weak as we are; Abraham lied two times to protect himself and his possessions, thus putting Sarah and the kings in danger. Further, He gave in to Sarah’s complaints over not having a son yet, as promised by God, and hence took her maid as his mistress in order to hurry up God’s process for giving him an heir to the covenant of grace. Yet he was called ‘the friend of God’. Why? It was because he continued to believe that God would keep His word to him, an unknown man from Ur of the Chaldeans going into the unknown with God because He commanded him to do so. God stood by Abraham through thick and thin like many of us do with our friends, though we often fail each other too but God does not. He talked with Abraham as friend to friend.

Moses was strong and proud while in Egypt, thinking that God was on his side and so he could deliver his people in his own ways. However, after having fled in fear of revenge by Pharaoh, he emerged a humbled man without confidence to serve God any more. Yet God wanted him to go and set His people free”. Why? It is because Moses admitted his weakness and had begun to rely on God alone in his obedience to Him. God accepted Moses as he was but did not leave him where he was. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob promised to provide everything needed to fulfill His mission by even providing a spokesman, Aaron, for him. Knowing Moses’ lack of self-confidence to enter the great city of Egypt to meet his fellow persecuted Israelites (having tended sheep for 40 years in the countryside, Moses might experience culture shock) He gave him His authority in His Name I AM WHO I AM and in His power to prevail over Pharaoh.

What about Elijah? God used him mightily on Mount Carmel in spiritual warfare after 2-3 years of silent retreat at a widow’s home. One would think he would be brave after such a victory. However, Jezebel’s threats frightened him so much that he got exhausted trying to flee from her. God understood his burnout state and soon released him from further ministry. Friends lighten our burdens, not add to them.

B. In the New Testament, Jesus’ friendship drew Martha into a deeper understanding of who He was through a family crisis. Martha did not have personal time for Jesus when things went well at home. But when Lazarus died, Martha’s perfectionist mask dropped and she became vulnerable, wishing that Jesus had come earlier. Her emotional dependency on a man could not hold any more. That was why Jesus stated to her, “I am the resurrection and the life…will never die…” Anyone would have thought this was spoken to a theologian. But no, it was to His friend Martha who was smelly, sweaty and dirty as she mourned for her one and only brother whom she hoped to take over from her as the head of their household according to Jewish law and tradition. Jesus did not scold her, “Huh, only now you have time for me!” Instead, He looked into her sad eyes with tears streaming down her cheeks and gently led her to realize that He was the pillar to lean on, not Lazarus. In fact, if she believed in Him, He would always be there for her as she would always be with Him. He would never leave her in the lurch. Friends are for eternity indeed.

Jesus also offered His friendship to Zaccheaus though hardly anyone wanted to be His friend. They saw him as a betrayer of the Jews as he worked for the Roman conqueror. His having cheated them in excessive tax only made matters worse. How did Jesus reach out to Him with His friendship? He knew that Zaccheaus was timid because others treated him like a leper. Even children ran away at his footsteps as he was probably grumpy and stingy.

Therefore, He invited Himself to his house as Zaccheaus would have felt so sinful and small before the holy Rabbi. Though we do not have records of their further dialogue, Zaccheaus’ changed behavior and attitude showed it all…Jesus’ gave him the primary gain of friendship which showed His forgiveness of his sins and healing of his lonely soul. His secondary gain of money and possessions could go as he no longer needed them for security. Thus he was healed of money neurosis, a weakness which led him into the sin of corruption and stinginess. In contrast, the rich ruler in Luke 18 would not release his wealth (his primary gain) in order to have Jesus who was like one of his many antiques (his secondary gain) to him. He had a problem of the love of money more than God, which is a sin.

[Note: A primary is something or someone of highest importance and significance to you and on which you depend for emotional fulfillment. A secondary gain is to fill in the gap for emotional dependency when the primary gain could not be attained.]

Christianity is truly all about friendship with God, the one and only living God!

By Dr. Lee Bee Teik